And I thought PARIS beer week was bad...

...Until I saw Honolulu Beer week!

It’s Paris beer week! So I don’t want to go too hard for breakfast, but what do you think?

I know right… NOT go too hard… pfffft.

Today I also have to choose between two events that are either side of PARIS <map> Ugh. But I’m looking forward to 66 yeast beer pizza, drinking and drawing with NICK DWYER DE BEAVERTOWN, and then discovering what kind of music brewer from Dieul de ceil is going to dj.. canadians… yeeyeee

Now, that we've got breakfast and beer let's talk about Paris Beer Week. 

Dan made a good point last night by saying that it's is becoming like SXSW, which is both a good and a bad thing. A lot of the best events are at repeat places with repeat people. Controlled, curated for your hip appreciation. There have been multiple events around the city that aren’t on the Paris Beer Week website because they aren’t sanctioned by the commity. BUMMER. But this year already there are more ‘non beer geeks’ attending and checking things out which is awesome.

I still don’t have a phone but my friend Clem has been posting recap photos of each day - and THAT man gets around. I’m less ambitious and have been going to two or three events per day, but I’m usually home pretty early. Plus there are so many people at these events it grosses me out. 

THEN I saw that Hawai'i was having it's first annual beer week! I wanted to see what my missed island love land was up to. What kind of craft delights they had cooked up. Perhaps a surf and brew or a Tiki beer event. War dances for beer? ... there must be at least ONE music and beer event... right?

WRONG. All so horribly wrong. 

In the ways that Paris Beer Week has been curated to a nearly nit picky level, the Hawaiian version is a free for all. When it comes to free - you know who can afford to do it all! Mostly the week is sponsored by ABI, but there is some Heineken in there too, and nice heavy hand of WHAT THE FUCK Honolulu Beer Week!

Get up early with Pint + Jigger 8am New Belgium and girl scout cookie pariting. I'd probably do that... honestly.

I'm not even sure what this means... 10am Hoppy yoga, brewery what... Depending on my cookie intake, I might do that one. stretch with beer.

O'toole rocks Guiness specials. Yay...

Way to step outta the box there O'Toole's...

Way to step outta the box there O'Toole's...

Tiki's has Kona Brewing (ABI owned)

Kincaid's you get to keep the shitty glass your basic beer came in.

Hideaway has some Green Flash going on but... aren't they on a military base? I need a pass to green flash?!

Cactus has one of my favorites on the line up

"$1 off all beer, except Dos Equis on draft ...cuz ya know.. then it would be like, free..."

Roy's is pairing things with Hinano... have you ever had Hinano? Props to them for.... doing that.

It's DAILY!&nbsp;

It's DAILY! 

Although I don't know what they are and don't care to take the time to check, Brewsum and Beer Lab seem like the most respectable of the bunch.  

Hula grill has $5 local drafts, make me feel like there might actually be some local brew somewhere on the island..

Kelley o'neil's is $4.50 sierra nevada pints Bre'd even has a sierra nevada Firkin night

Fat 8 bar n grill has $5 Sapporo cans 🇯🇵😱

Bar35 has $2 off Chimany ALL DAY cuz what I want on a hot day is heavy Belgian bread triple... and to meet the poor people that are trying to make monks cool in island weather. Santa did it, why can't they?

Maybe go to Lulu's? They have Sam Adams... but then Tropic's Tap House has a Sierra Nevada tap attack.

What's a tap attack?

What's a tap attack?

Side Street has Rogue... Do you see the pattern here? None of these even mention ONE brewery or beer that I haven't heard as an international brand.

We crescendo with that big, fat, FUCK IT. Is your palate tired of all this 'craft beer'? Then head over to Buho for a late night happy hour of $5.50 michelada. Because vomiting up spicy tomato juice is a better option then just plain vomit. Don't ya think?

This all leads up to the Brewer's festival - over a 100 craft beers from Hawai'i mainland and international. I'm going to make the assumption that it is mostly mainland and international. 

I'm going to need another bowl of cereal. Better luck next year Honolulu. By then you'll at least have Oskar Blues, Ten Barrel and maybe some Maui Brewing.